I’ll keep this short and simple because I’m honestly not a fan of introductions. When I read introductions, especially on blogs, I forget every piece of information about that given person in about 10 minutes, therefore; I wouldn’t expect all 19 of you to be able to remember a thing about me.
My name is Rob. That’s all you get. I don’t care about some secret identity or any of that nonsense. My name is actually Rob. But as I mentioned earlier, no one is going to care about anything past that, so all you get is Rob. I grew up in southeastern VA before attending college to play baseball. It was here where I met my fellow PGB bloggers and lifelong friends. Let’s be honest I’m not one to care about North or South (West is pretty strange, let’s be honest) and that’s how I stumbled across my friendship with a Pittsburgh sports fiend and a funny kid from NJ who pretends to be a lifelong Giants fan. In fun college, most people throw on their apparel and stumble to giant block parties on Saturdays, that they like to call “tailgates,” where they proceed to drink their livers away and leave after the first quarter of their game because they’re either puking or need a nap. I didn’t go to fun college. I went to a tiny liberal arts school where studying was the point of focus on a Saturday at 1 pm. My friends and I approached Saturdays differently than most. We started pounding beers or Aristocrat vodka at noon and blared music and watched football till our eyes bled. It didn’t take us long to realize that we loved what we did and we were decently knowledgeable with most of the things that came from our alcohol-invaded brains. Now, here we are. I don’t care how many people read my blogs and I don’t care about whether you think I’m smart, funny, or none of the above. PGB is my outlet to vent about my teams (or brag – which is extremely rare) and continue the never ending sports banter (get it) with my friends.
So, let’s get to my teams. I love two sports franchises, and two sports franchises only: THE Carolina Panthers and the greatest sports team to ever walk God’s green earth, the New York Yankees. Let’s get one thing straight, I’m not the egotistical Yankees douche bag fan. When I speak of the Yankees I speak in a purely unbiased tone. I’ll tell you what I think and I’ll be very honest about. Now, I know what you’re thinking… How the FUCK does this guy like the Panthers. HAND UP – I wasn’t always a Panthers fan. I used to be a Cowboys fan when I was in like Middle School because Big Trey (my dad) was a Cowboys fan. But we all know boys develop more slowly, so it took a while for me to realize that Jerry Jones is the Hillary Clinton of the NFL. The guy just hasn’t made a good decision… like EVER. Before you call me some Cam Newton Stan, though, you should know that I became a Panthers fan one season before Cam Newton was drafted. Yes, they went 2-14. Yes, Jimmy Clausen was the starting QB … JIMMY CLAUSEN … THE PRIDE OF THE FIGHTING IRISH.
That’s enough of that, though. Don’t take me back to those dark, dark days. There’s something that you should know about my Panthers fandom. I’m the biggest Carolina Panthers hater in the history of haters. I don’t even know why I still like them. Their persistence to be mediocre is quite frankly the most frustrating part of being a fan of any sports team. They’re never bad enough to get a solid draft pick (w/ the exception of the CMC the GOAT) and they’re never good enough to actually win a SB. They’re stuck in the black hole of teams that are underrated when they’re doing well and overrated when they’re doing poorly.
WELL WHAT OTHER SPORTS DO YOU LIKE, ROB? I love the NFL, I love the MLB. Aside from that, I’m just a guy with an appreciation for sports. I’m not one of those serial killers who can watch Naked and Afraid marathons on Discovery channel. I NEED sports, and that means any sport (except soccer, honestly – I’ve tried and I just can’t do it). I like basketball but College basketball is more entertaining to me. It’s hard to get in the NBA for that one obvious reason that you all know I’m going to say – there’s no modern day Larry Bird. Hockey is bad ass, but I just can’t get in to it unless I’m watching my Capitals and Penguins friends shit talk each other to the death. UFC … is the coolest sporting event in the history of sporting events and I’m gonna be honest, I’m late to the train on this one. These guys just get the shit kicked out of them for 3 five-minute rounds and then act like they walked their dog around their neighborhood. College Football is cool, but NFL players are just so much better. I can watch either for days on days, but I’d give a testicle to watch the NFL everyday for the rest of my life. Am I missing anything? Probably. But who cares. If I didn’t mention the favorite sport of one of you 19 followers then your sport is probably dumb.
That’s all from me, folks. I’m sure you’ll be hearing from me again shortly. Until then, I encourage you to spread the word about this blog and I encourage all of you to find some way to rip me apart at any time.
signed – PGB ROB