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Not All Pizza is Equal

A calorie is a calorie they say. Sure, maybe if we are talking about body fat, but we all know calories don’t count on the weekends. Silver lining. Well, for specific foods, there is a rule for Pizza that not as many people know. I will get it to it, but before I want to address some things. Pizza is hip, its in, it’s what the cool kid are doing. Pizza shirts, pizza bikinis, pizza everything. The kids love it and rightfully so. All things considered pizza is my favorite food by a million and the only food I feel confident enough to eat in a contest. Not only that but it is probably your favorite food too. I know that because it is objectively the best food ever made.

Pizza is so hot in the streets right now thats its cliche to say you like pizza. Back in the day if you wanted to be a hipster all you needed to do was get a measly nose ring. Now, you need to not love pizza and you’re in. As much as this bothers me, I can let it slide. I want to focus more on the simpletons, the unoriginals who proclaim there love for pizza so much they forget to recognize the flaws.


All Pizza is NOT created equal. I have news for all the pizza lovers out there: reheated pizza is bad. Microwave or stove however you reheat it, if you reheat it in the comfort of your own home, that pizza is BAD. I am just as big a Pizza fan as any. I can scarf down a pizza at a moments notice with the best of em, but I am just sick of hearing these false claims, that ‘all pizza is bae.’It’s like when an athlete gets old, yet we still try to claim that they are the best in the league. Look at one point this may have been true but it’s too late. What was I talking about in that analogy? Was it the pizza or the athlete? Trick question, it was both.

“Ohh but cold pizza is good, TJ!” It’s good, I’ll admit that, but there are TONS of more foods I would rather have than cold pizza its just a fact. It’s a good high food as made popular but Mac Miller, RIPIP. But that should tell you enough. The only reason it really has a thing is because the stoners think outside the box and realize that cold pizza is both quicker and better than reheating it. Pizza just made, or brought home, or the pizza reheated in the restaurant, best thing in the world. Pizza in any other condition is not on my top 10 things I would want to eat at the moment. Get over yourself pizza nerds.




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