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Is There a More Gangster Move Than Shutting the World Down for A Day?

Do you understand how much of a G you have to be to have the markets CLOSE because of your death. I took a quick glance to see if there were any other alpha-alphas in the history of the world and turns out there were two, Jesus Christ (the GOAT with 3 market closed days recognizing his death) and Martin Luther King Jr. (with a measly 1). The bright side however is this is the first white guy to do so, which is just what we needed. Some good PR to bring us back! We were struggling for a little, but no one can take this from us. This is ours… enjoy it boys.

I can’t actually fathom what it must be like to be such a force in the world. Being President is just a crazy thing to me. “Wait…I have to run…America?” Probably Donald Trump after he was elected. It’s mind boggling job, it’s amazing we only have one. I get stressed thinking about my first grade teacher trying to take care of 15 of us, and you want one guy to take care of 300M?! Seems ridiculous to me, and to think we have a former colleague of Macaulay Culkin in the Oval Office today is actually banana land.





People dream to become uber famous, uber rich, successful, etc. But no one has ever dreamed of shutting down the universe for a day to remember their death. What an alpha move here by George H.W. Bush. I know he didn’t necessarily plan it, but he lived an incredible life that deserved remembrance. My only strife with this is like everything else in the world today, it will become completely saturated and turn into a circus. Well if we did it for him, we have to do it for her (Disclaimer: I just randomly picked a pronoun, could be a ‘xe’ if you guys want, I don’t know I am sorry, too many to keep count. Just insert whatever pronoun you want. Dont sue!) Anyway, as I was saying this will almost definitely become a thing where we become more and more liberal with the ‘day of remembrance’ thing. Sooner or later the markets will be closed for the morning because iCarly died.


In all seriousness, RIPIP to an absolute legend, tremendous President, and True American.

And s/o to his guide dog. Waterworks.



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