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Hitler, Funerals, NJ Transit

If you had to name a few of the worst places to be in the history of being on the earth, what would they be?

Prison, for sure. India maybe. A Jersey Shore club on MDW. A concert with people you don’t know for a band you don’t like. I am not quite sure why you would be at a One Direction concert, but you get the point. (Full disclosure: I like 1D, their songs are catchy.)

Anyway, what is the common theme amongst those scenarios? Everyplace is Crowded, there is a lack of privacy, you are near people you don’t want to be around, you can’t watch TV. I could go on forever. Now, take those qualities of those places that suck and add disappointment, being late, and to top it all off payment to be there. Welcome to public transportation, more specifically, NJ Transit.

The difference between the top 4 thing and NJ Transit is at least you find some solace in the 4 things. Prison you can make some friends and get in shape. India has great food. Jersey Shore club, you might be able to meet an MTV executive who casts you in a show where you just live your life and make millions of dollars for partying and being very talentless, then you obviously are not financially responsible so you don’t pay your taxes and you end up going to prison, which as we learned earlier, you can make friends. It comes full circle, but the bottom line in there is a light somewhere there.

Well with NJ Transit, there is no light.

When I see videos of people freaking out in public places my first thought is “This person obviously has a problem. Just chill out man, you can wait an extra second to get the right order at McDonalds.” But I think I get it now. As I was sitting there on the train today, late to work for the 3rd day in a row because of seemingly no reason, things started to make sense.

Should I punch the door? The Glass? The pregnant women next to me? I am not saying it was her fault, but also she’s bringing another human into the world, which is why we are even late in the first place…congestion. We don’t need him/her/it ma’am, we just don’t.


As I sat there I sincerely thought about what was happening. I was going to be late again, so I was fantasizing what it would be like to be fired anyway. While daydreaming of being fired, I was toying with what to do with my new found free time. I will say going to jail is not an ideal place to be, but if I had time to kill, why not be a martyr for something I believe in. Stand my ground vs. the big and mighty public transportation system. Why not assault an Nj Transit employee? I didn’t of course, but I wanted to. I wanted to more than I have ever wanted to do anything, but I know it’s not their fault. They are just there to pretend to get mad at people whose mobile tickets take too long to load.

Public Transportation is the absolute GD worst. If NJ Transit was a person and I had the ability to punish him as I saw fit, I wouldn’t do anything violent or put him in jail or anything that would be letting him off easy. If I had that power, and in my wildest of fantasies I do, I would make him ride Nj Transit back and forth all day. The catch would be if the train ever arrived on time or he had a pleasant ride, he could stop. Spoiler Alert he would never stop.

What a shit show.


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