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How to Get Girls 101

Hey class, welcome to the first, and probably only installment of ‘How to Get Girls 101.’ What this class is going to teach you is how to get the attention of, impress, and then date HOT girls. We only go for hot girls here, because the others ones have ‘personalities’

Gross. Hey if I wanted to have a good conversation, I would talk to my friends. No titties? Noooo thank you.

Obviously just kidding, its 2018, what do you guys think I am trying to get my balls chopped off by 450 pink haired women? Of course I don’t believe that but for the sake of the blog, lighten up snowflake.

So anyway, back to getting muff. I wish I had this blog when I was younger because I had endure many awkward attempts to impress girls I found attractive. My go to move was to just walk by and hope they said something. Never worked. This is actually still my Plan A when I am attempting to hit on a girl in person, but when it comes to new technology and social media…Wow! Life has been made much easier, lets just put it that way.

Girls love to be messaged in the DM. Slide in the DMs as the kids call it these days. They love it, they eat it up. Just when they are about to open up to stalk their friends who they think they are hotter then, they look up and see the blue notification. Dick Pics all over is probably what they see for the most part. So how do you stick out? You just say a simple ‘Hi.’ It works almost 100% of the time.

What if you don’t know them?

Great question. Doesn’t matter. Just pretend you do. Say something like “Hey, I saw you went to Italy 3 years ago with your boyfriend…are you still dating? How was he at sex?” If you don’t have a girlfriend by the end of the night, I will honestly be surprised. It’s almost fool proof.

Now a lot of you may be wondering, but TJ how do I get the attention of famous people?

That’s a great question. This is a little tricky because it requires some persistence. This is only because of the volume. Super famous people get DM’d everyday. Mostly dick pics, but also some guys who have found my foolproof system. So, they see your DM the first day, but they want to make sure you really want it. So they test you… just keep DMing them and it will work eventually. Also, it’s really important that you prove how much you want this to work out by ‘thinking outside the box.’The most effective way to do this is to threaten harm on yourself, because then they will think “Wow, he wants me so bad he would die for me.” I mean if that doesn’t work, then she’s a lesbian. See below.

Here’s my conversation with Ariana Grande, I think I am about 2 more messages away!

IMG_9741.jpeg

So that’s basically it. No need to thank me guys. Just take my advice and just start implementing it. Before you know it you’ll be a ladies man and have to work through your DMs for about an hour to just clear the notification.

Tune in next time!

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