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My Parents Think I Might Be Gay

I recently moved to a gay neighborhood, a ‘gayborhood‘ as they call it. I didn’t know this until we signed the lease, but this is just what is going on in my life that I want to share with you guys. It’s 2018, so of course no issues at all, but as a straight guy moving into a noted ‘very gay’ area, I’ve certainly noticed some things. The move has brought some things to life, made observations pop, made me a little worried I will do something stupid, and most importantly when it comes to finding love, made it extremely hard…. that’s what he said.

First off, I think my parents thought I was coming out when I told them I was moving to a gay area. I don’t think they have ever had any thoughts that I was gay, but for the last 2 years I have been living at home. I live with parents who wake up when I sneeze all the way down the hallway, so the thought of another human sneaking in was as crazy as gay marriage in the 60’s. They know for sure that every single night I have slept at home, it has been alone.* I sleep on a twin bed, so another person climbing in my childhood, piss-filled bed hasn’t even entered my mind, their mind, and the girls I meet at the bars mind. Of course, there may be other things that come into play for the last one, but this is what I have convinced myself. Aside from sleeping out, my parents are aware that my sex-life has been nothing short of totally barren.

Second- It’s just three friends moving into a sub 800 sq ft. apartment, so if your an outsider, it looks a little like we may play for the other (in this case your) team. Hypothetically if you are a mid 30’s gay man, and you see three 24 year old’s moving in together in a widely known gay area, from the outside you probably think we might be afraid of chasin’ muff as well. Living right above a bar called Flaming Saddles seems like we chose it on purpose. With sexual freedom at an all time high, whose to say we aren’t in a polyamorous gay relationship. We’re all decently good looking, we keep clean, and were fashionable….sounds gay! I am not sure what the protocol is to really declare that you are gay, but when you live above Flaming Saddles, and surrounded by rainbow colored flags, its hard to defend your allegiance to the labia.

I have a great relationship with gay guys. I have great relationship with straight guys. There is a problem though, when I get to drunk, I lay it all on the table. I don’t really say things I should but rather I ask things I shouldn’t. Perfect example: The first time getting drunk with my cousin after he came out, I was with him and his boyfriend…so naturally I asked questions like: “When did you know?” or “Tell me about your experiences with women.” Turns out the boyfriend was not a fan of those questions! I probably would have known that, if that wasn’t the first time I met him. So off to a hot start there. Just as I would get drunk and ask certain friends of mine about their sexual experiences with ‘chicks, bro,’ I have done that with gay men in the past. To be totally honest, I am afraid I may do that in the future. I am trying to make friends in my new neighborhood, not piss them off.

There is another side to this though. I have realized that I treat gay men extremely nice, almost too nice. It’s not patronizing, rather I want them to like me. Wanting to be like and found attractive, I treat gay men the same way I treat women, the only different is I would have sex with women. However, it’s nice to get a compliment, so might as well try to get it from the most outspoken and flamboyant of the bunch. So I may get them mad at first when I tear down the walls with my quick up front questioning, but I think over time, I will make some buddies.

All in all, I am happy with the move. Yeah, its a different lifestyle than I am used to throughout my athletic jock days, but it’s a nice apartment for very cheap. Not only that, but there are countless of other benefits as well. The area is generally clean, everyone is nice, there are tons of chicks who I KNOW are not visiting there boyfriends, I can probably make a TON of tips at Flaming Saddles, etc. So go gays!


*Except for that one Thanksgiving Eve night where I brought a girl from home back and then rushed her out of the house at 7am. It worked, but wow it was scary.


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